Go Back to Work Or Become a Stay at Home Mom
By Kerry on September 9, 2018
Quote of the Week
“Working Moms, Stay at Home Moms,
They’re Both Extremely Hard Jobs.”
~ Paulo Freire
OPTIONS AFTER BABY’S BORN
Hopefully you’ve had a company that values women and men enough to offer maternity and paternity leave. And it’s been 3+ glorious months of getting to know your new little one. And WOW do those first three months fly. At the end of my three months, as a first time mother, I felt faced with the decision to go back to work or raise my babies.
For me, there were a few things to think about in regards to making this decision (other than mom guilt):
- Does your salary cover childcare and then some?
- Is your work important to me?
- Am I built to do childcare full time?
This was important to me. Finances are always top of mind for my husband and I. Was my paycheck alone, going to cover either a daycare or full time nanny? If it did then I could check the box and say yes, I can go back to work and I’ll make more then I’ll pay. If it was going to be more expensive then maybe going back to work didn’t make sense. It wasn’t a deal breaker, but certainly a consideration point.
Do you LOVE the work you’re doing? I mean REALLY love it? I did/do (MKG is still going!). I built a Digital Marketing Agency. At the time we were 5 people and magical things were starting to take shape. I was not ready to leave and I fought for it. There were some bumps when I came back since I was gone so long, but we banned together as a company and continue the magic. Today we’re 8 people working with wonderful clients and showing the advertising world what happens when you treat your employees as irreplaceable. You gotta love what you do and feel like you can’t live without doing the work you do.
BUILT FOR BABIES
I love my children. They’re beautiful and smart and funny and hard. So. Hard. Stay at home moms everywhere I cherish you’re ability to be with your little ones 24/7. I am not built for childcare as a professions (because let’s be real - SAHMs is a real profession). By Sunday night I’m toast. I love Mondays. I cannot imagine a wold without naps. I know quite a few Stay At Home Moms and they are amazing.
There are some amazing pros of SAHMs; your focus isn’t split - you focus on your children without trying to balance a job too, there’s more-ish time for house work - especially cooking dinner each night, I’ve heard overall family feels and culture is just better when momma is more present.
The pros for going back to work on the flip side is that; you have some you time, time where you’re not a mom, but you, doing something else you love, depending on the work you’re doing you generally get praise and acknowledged for it while at home your work could get glossed over because it’s part of the everyday norm.
My husband and I have been working from home together since the babies were born so having them at school while we worked at home felt strange. By having a nanny we could still be apart of the day to day. Have lunch with them. Help them go down for naps. Support our nanny when tempers ran high. The nanny also helps around the house while babies nap. Lots of benefits. I feel like I’ve been able to have a foot in each world this way. It’s my happy medium.
If school is a better option for your family, other happy medium options could be shortening the hours. Work 9 - 4 so you get time at the end of the day with your kids. Maximize weekends with fun activities. To really maximize family time, turn work off. Turn screens off. Focus on your babies and family when you’re home. Work can wait.
On the flip side, if you decide to be a SAHM, then there are some side work jobs that you can pick up. Could be starting your own business. If you’re a maker you could sell your products as you have time to make them on Etsy or the like. One mom I know decided to just quadruple recipes and make food for her community, charging a cost per dish and doing home delivery. I know a ton of moms that have joined social marketing opportunities like selling wine, skincare, or clothes. They’ve built teams to not only make money, but to make connections. They come together and support one another. I wasn’t a big believer in this kind of marketing, but I’ve really seen the community it creates, especially for SAHMs.
The point is, like all MommaFinds finds, it doesn’t have to be all one way or another. You have options. Find what works for you.
Whatever you decide you’re beautiful and amazing and I’m proud of all your momma’s for paving your own way.